Saturday snigger – is Kamala Harris mentioned in the Bible?

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

Well, one might think not but I have examined some verses more closely which suggest perhaps she is. The text is from the King James Version (BMV*).

I have added some explanatory text of my own as appropriate.

Genesis 31:34

Now Rachel had taken the terrapins, put them in the Kamala’s saddle, and sat on them. Laban felt about all the tent, but didn’t find them.

Rachel may refer to Rachel Maddow. Terrapins are turtles and it is from this came the phrase ‘Turtles all the way down’.

Leviticus 11:4

“‘Nevertheless these you shall not eat of those that chew the cud, or of those who part the hoof: the Kamala, because she chews the cud but doesn’t have a parted hoof, she is unclean to you.

There is some debate over the parting of the hoof, as Kamala Devi Harris, her full name, is an anagram of ‘aka air marsh devil’ and the Devil is said to have cloven feet.

Jeremiah 2:23

How are you able to say, I am not unclean, I have not gone after the Baals? see your way in the valley, be clear about what you have done: you are a quick-footed Kamala twisting her way in and out;

N.B. The Baals were loads carried by kamalas. When fully loaded they were known as a complete load of Baals. The phrase is used today but slightly changed.

Matthew 3:4

And the same John had his raiment of Kamala’s hair, and a leather girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey.

The John referred to may be John Swinney, First Minister of Scotland.

First minister’s support for Harris is ‘insult’ says Trump business

1 November 2024

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy5lnpy7zrqo

I see John is reported as saying

“And I’ve not come to that conclusion only because Donald Trump is opposed to Scottish independence.”

Which seems to be damning with faint praise, so yes, an insult to Kamala.

Matthew 19:24

Again I tell you, it is easier for a Kamala to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.”

Matthew 23:24

You blind guys, who strain out a Nat, and swallow a Kamala!

This refers to those who criticise a nationalist but swallow all that Kamala Harris says.

Footnote:

*BMV is BaldMichael Variant.

Look out for the sign of Baldmichael, he will be back!

P.S By way of reminder, today is the winter solstice and the shortest day of the year, so it will be good to have the daylight increasing again.

If you haven’t seen, you might like these posts I did earlier.

Thursday giggle – Are Donald Trump and Joe Biden mentioned in the Bible?

Things people misheard in listening to Jesus – a light bite

Why are followers of Christ said to be ‘the sweet aroma of Christ’ to God? – 2 Corinthians 2 v.15