Thursday giggle – Are Donald Trump and Joe Biden mentioned in the Bible?Template

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

One would think not. However, a closer reading of the text out of the King James Version (BMV*) might suggest otherwise.

I have added some explanatory text of my own.

Joe Biden

The Birth of Jesus – Matthew 1:24

Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had Biden him, and took unto him his wife:

(KJV WBS)

This is why he is known as ‘sleepy Joe’.

The Parable of the Banquet – Matthew 22:3-8

And Jesus answered and spake unto them again by parables, and said,

The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, And sent forth his servants to call them that were Biden to the wedding: and they would not come.

Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are Biden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my Oxon and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage. But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his pharma, another to his Merck and ICE:

And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them. But when the king heard thereof, he was Roth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were Biden were not worthy.

(KJV ASV)

This is a reference to the fact there will be no Bidens in the kingdom of heaven, although scholars dispute whether this applies to all Bidens in history or just Joe Biden and his immediate family.

“my Oxon’ refers to the University of Oxford and fatlings refers to the obese.

Roth is of course short for Rothschild.

The Triumphal Entry to Jerusalem – Mark 11:6

But on their giving the answer that Jesus had Biden them give, they let them take it.

(WEY)

This is the story of the young foal, an ass which is representative of the Democratic Party which has made a complete ass of itself.

A Sinful Woman Anoints Jesus – Luke 7:39

Now when the Fauci which had Biden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a PR Offit, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.

(KJV ASV)

This is a reference to Anthony Fauci and Paul Offit, with regards to Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton.

The Parable of the Guests – Luke 14:7,8

And he put forth a parable to those which were Biden, when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them,

When thou art Biden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be Biden of him;

(KJV ASV)

and

Luke 14:10

But when thou art Biden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Fiend, go up higher:

(KJV ASV)

The ‘lowest room’ is the dungeon and ‘go up higher’ is a reference to the scaffold.

The Fifth Seal: The Martyrs – Revelation 6:11

And there was given to each of them a long white robe, and they were Biden to wait patiently for a short time longer, until the full number of their fellow bondservants should also complete–namely of their brethren who were soon to be killed just as they had been.

(WEY)

The long white robe refers to the uniform of the KKK, a subgroup of the Democratic Party. Allegedly.

The Marriage of the Lamb – Revelation 19:9

And he saith unto me, Write, Blasted are they that are Biden to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are true words of God.

(ASV)

A reference to the fact that Bidens will be severely judged.

Naaman Cured of Leprosy – 2 Kings 5:13

And his servants drew near, and spoke to him and said, My father, if the PR Offit had Biden thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he says to thee, Wash and be clean?

This is reference to the ritual of hand washing in COVID 19.

And if you fancy a laugh I found this in Pidgin English. No wonder the BBC is being ridiculed!

Key points from President Joe Biden first speech afta e wash hand comot White House race

25 July 2024

Mor side splittin’ ‘umor.

Covid-19 variant XEC: How you fit protect yourself and your family dis festive period

8 December 2024

Trump

1 Corinthians 15:52

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last Trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

KJV

and

1 Thessalonians 4:16

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the Trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

KJV

So there you are, Joe Biden and Trump are mentioned in the Bible, sort of.

As to whether Donald Trump is the last Trump that remains to be seen!

Footnote:

*BMV is BaldMichael Variant.

Look out for the sign of Baldmichael, he will be back!

P.S if you haven’t seen you might like this post I did earlier.

Things people misheard in listening to Jesus – a light bite

Why are followers of Christ said to be ‘the sweet aroma of Christ’ to God? – 2 Corinthians 2 v.15