Huge thank you for the hilarious and insightful takedown of the fiction that is viroLIEgy. This time, the furry cleavage site comes under Baldmichael's critical glare, is put through the wringer, and comes out looking like a right tit!! Bravo!!
Somewhat like BM but not quite, Benjamin Disraeli’s description of his rival William Gladstone:
"A sophistical rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity, and gifted with an egotistical imagination that can at all times command an interminable and inconsistent series of arguments to malign an opponent and to glorify himself."
This week, the furry cleavage site makes a special guest appearance at the Ministry of Silly ‘Viruses’
[Scene: A small, drab office at the Ministry of Silly ‘Viruses.’ Mr. TestTube enters, walking with an exaggeratedly silly viral “drift” – a staggered, mutation-prone stride. He eventually reaches his desk and sits down. Mr. RNA is already seated across from him, nervously clutching a petri dish]
Mr. TestTube: Good morning.
Mr. RNA: Good morning, sir.
Mr. TestTube: What can I do for you?
Mr. RNA: Well, sir, I have a silly virus, and I’d like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it.
Mr. TestTube: [Leaning forward with interest] A silly virus, you say? Splendid! May I see it?
Mr. RNA: Yes, certainly, yes.
[Mr. RNA stands up, wobbling slightly with an exaggerated, stumbling gait reminiscent of a ‘virus’ struggling through mutation. The effort is mild and unimpressive, barely a blip on the ‘viral’ silliness radar.]
Mr. TestTube: That’s it, is it?
Mr. RNA: Well, yes, that’s it, yes.
Mr. TestTube: [Slightly disappointed] It’s not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the replication isn’t silly at all. Just a predictable sequence of A, C, G, T; no wild insertions, no unexpected deletions, and not even a furry cleavage site! [He punctuates his words with dramatic, energizing hand movements, mimicking the presentation of a ‘furry cleavage site.’]
Mr. RNA: Yes, but I think that with government backing, I could make it very silly indeed.
Mr. TestTube: [Considering] Hmm… possibly. But you see, we’ve already got a whole line up of silly ‘viruses’ – bird flu, monkeypox, and numerous other made-up ones that didn’t quite catch on. It’s a crowded field, you know. The funding is tight unless your ‘virus’ is really absurd.
Mr. RNA: Well, sir, I’m not asking for more than the grant given to bird flu last year, and I was really getting into my strain. [He demonstrates again, this time making another half-hearted attempt at mutation, followed by a lacklustre hop as if jumping species - one hand on his hip and the other arm raised like a kettle’s spout]
Mr. TestTube: [Leaning back, amused] Yes, but the problem is, it’s not particularly silly, is it? Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but it just lacks that… you know… pandemic potential.
Mr. RNA: I see.
Mr. TestTube: However, I think I can recommend a few steps to help develop your ‘virus.’
Mr. RNA: Oh, thank you, sir. What should I do?
Mr. TestTube: Well, start by ‘isolating’ in a nice thick soup of genetic material. Like this. [He gestures dramatically, mimicking a ‘virus’ stealthily swimming through a mix of cellular debris.] Then, endure the pain of being poisoned by antibiotics. [He winces, clutching his stomach. Then, shuffles with a crazed, zigzagging walk as if trying to escape an invisible enemy.] And finally, swim in bovine foetal serum! [He breaks the swimming motion, hiding his head in his hands, and groaning as if haunted by the ghosts of unborn calves.]
Mr. RNA: Ah, yes. I see what you mean, sir.
Mr. TestTube: And then, when the researchers start their so-called “isolation process,” you can cause all sorts of cytopathic effects in the cell cultures. Really make them think they’ve found something dangerous. Try it again.
[Mr. RNA attempts to act out the ‘virus’ causing cytopathic effects by wobbling his arms and making exaggerated frowns. He adds a few feeble, half-hearted jerks as if trying to ‘infect’ invisible cells, but the result resembles a twitching zombie more than a convincing ‘viral’ assault.]
Mr. RNA: It’s difficult.
Mr. TestTube: Well, it’s just a matter of practice. It’s not something you can just pick up overnight. But if you’re prepared to be poisoned by antibiotics, heavy metal stains, and pretend PCR results ‘prove’ your existence, I can give you a grant.
Mr. RNA: [Brightening up] Oh, thank you very much, sir. I will do my best to continue the fraud.
Mr. TestTube: Right, you can pick up the grant form at the desk outside. We’ve got plenty of funds for something this silly. In fact, the more nonsensical, the better!
Mr. RNA: [Grinning] Thank you very much, sir.
Mr. TestTube: Good luck! And remember, if all else fails, just get a friend in a lab coat to draw some arrows on an electron microscope image. That always does the trick.
[Mr. RNA exits, doing a silly ‘viral’ dance, as Mr. TestTube leans back, thoroughly pleased with the absurdity of his job.]
Oh bliss, oh joy, oh poop poop! I have said it before but your really should put these up as posts on your site. Of course if someone could do a video even better.
HUGE THANKS for the kind feedback. Massively appreciated!! I‘m currently dedicating all my spare time to a book Im working on titled "........ tbc ..... ." The skit is a clip from that project.
Once the book is published, I plan to fully commit to Substack.
Huge thanks again for the generous words of encouragement!!
In 2002 a patent was lodged for insertion of a Furin Cleavage Site sequence in a plasmid comprising a chicken β in Glucagon Like Peptide-1 (GLP-1) cDNA (pβGLP1).6
The sequence SEQ ID NO: 5(CGTCAACGTCGT) codes for a Furin Cleavage Site(FCS).
North Carolina researchers Kristopher Curtis, Boyd Yount and Ralph Baric filed a patent “Methods for producing recombinant Coronavirus”
Huge thank you for the hilarious and insightful takedown of the fiction that is viroLIEgy. This time, the furry cleavage site comes under Baldmichael's critical glare, is put through the wringer, and comes out looking like a right tit!! Bravo!!
Somewhat like BM but not quite, Benjamin Disraeli’s description of his rival William Gladstone:
"A sophistical rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity, and gifted with an egotistical imagination that can at all times command an interminable and inconsistent series of arguments to malign an opponent and to glorify himself."
They say cleavage, I say my arse.👍🦘🇦🇺
The clevage site=g-o-f!
🤣🤣 This distills the furin cleavage wordplay into something that makes more sense than COVID policy 🤣🤣
This week, the furry cleavage site makes a special guest appearance at the Ministry of Silly ‘Viruses’
[Scene: A small, drab office at the Ministry of Silly ‘Viruses.’ Mr. TestTube enters, walking with an exaggeratedly silly viral “drift” – a staggered, mutation-prone stride. He eventually reaches his desk and sits down. Mr. RNA is already seated across from him, nervously clutching a petri dish]
Mr. TestTube: Good morning.
Mr. RNA: Good morning, sir.
Mr. TestTube: What can I do for you?
Mr. RNA: Well, sir, I have a silly virus, and I’d like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it.
Mr. TestTube: [Leaning forward with interest] A silly virus, you say? Splendid! May I see it?
Mr. RNA: Yes, certainly, yes.
[Mr. RNA stands up, wobbling slightly with an exaggerated, stumbling gait reminiscent of a ‘virus’ struggling through mutation. The effort is mild and unimpressive, barely a blip on the ‘viral’ silliness radar.]
Mr. TestTube: That’s it, is it?
Mr. RNA: Well, yes, that’s it, yes.
Mr. TestTube: [Slightly disappointed] It’s not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the replication isn’t silly at all. Just a predictable sequence of A, C, G, T; no wild insertions, no unexpected deletions, and not even a furry cleavage site! [He punctuates his words with dramatic, energizing hand movements, mimicking the presentation of a ‘furry cleavage site.’]
Mr. RNA: Yes, but I think that with government backing, I could make it very silly indeed.
Mr. TestTube: [Considering] Hmm… possibly. But you see, we’ve already got a whole line up of silly ‘viruses’ – bird flu, monkeypox, and numerous other made-up ones that didn’t quite catch on. It’s a crowded field, you know. The funding is tight unless your ‘virus’ is really absurd.
Mr. RNA: Well, sir, I’m not asking for more than the grant given to bird flu last year, and I was really getting into my strain. [He demonstrates again, this time making another half-hearted attempt at mutation, followed by a lacklustre hop as if jumping species - one hand on his hip and the other arm raised like a kettle’s spout]
Mr. TestTube: [Leaning back, amused] Yes, but the problem is, it’s not particularly silly, is it? Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but it just lacks that… you know… pandemic potential.
Mr. RNA: I see.
Mr. TestTube: However, I think I can recommend a few steps to help develop your ‘virus.’
Mr. RNA: Oh, thank you, sir. What should I do?
Mr. TestTube: Well, start by ‘isolating’ in a nice thick soup of genetic material. Like this. [He gestures dramatically, mimicking a ‘virus’ stealthily swimming through a mix of cellular debris.] Then, endure the pain of being poisoned by antibiotics. [He winces, clutching his stomach. Then, shuffles with a crazed, zigzagging walk as if trying to escape an invisible enemy.] And finally, swim in bovine foetal serum! [He breaks the swimming motion, hiding his head in his hands, and groaning as if haunted by the ghosts of unborn calves.]
Mr. RNA: Ah, yes. I see what you mean, sir.
Mr. TestTube: And then, when the researchers start their so-called “isolation process,” you can cause all sorts of cytopathic effects in the cell cultures. Really make them think they’ve found something dangerous. Try it again.
[Mr. RNA attempts to act out the ‘virus’ causing cytopathic effects by wobbling his arms and making exaggerated frowns. He adds a few feeble, half-hearted jerks as if trying to ‘infect’ invisible cells, but the result resembles a twitching zombie more than a convincing ‘viral’ assault.]
Mr. RNA: It’s difficult.
Mr. TestTube: Well, it’s just a matter of practice. It’s not something you can just pick up overnight. But if you’re prepared to be poisoned by antibiotics, heavy metal stains, and pretend PCR results ‘prove’ your existence, I can give you a grant.
Mr. RNA: [Brightening up] Oh, thank you very much, sir. I will do my best to continue the fraud.
Mr. TestTube: Right, you can pick up the grant form at the desk outside. We’ve got plenty of funds for something this silly. In fact, the more nonsensical, the better!
Mr. RNA: [Grinning] Thank you very much, sir.
Mr. TestTube: Good luck! And remember, if all else fails, just get a friend in a lab coat to draw some arrows on an electron microscope image. That always does the trick.
[Mr. RNA exits, doing a silly ‘viral’ dance, as Mr. TestTube leans back, thoroughly pleased with the absurdity of his job.]
Oh bliss, oh joy, oh poop poop! I have said it before but your really should put these up as posts on your site. Of course if someone could do a video even better.
HUGE THANKS for the kind feedback. Massively appreciated!! I‘m currently dedicating all my spare time to a book Im working on titled "........ tbc ..... ." The skit is a clip from that project.
Once the book is published, I plan to fully commit to Substack.
Huge thanks again for the generous words of encouragement!!
In 2002 a patent was lodged for insertion of a Furin Cleavage Site sequence in a plasmid comprising a chicken β in Glucagon Like Peptide-1 (GLP-1) cDNA (pβGLP1).6
The sequence SEQ ID NO: 5(CGTCAACGTCGT) codes for a Furin Cleavage Site(FCS).
North Carolina researchers Kristopher Curtis, Boyd Yount and Ralph Baric filed a patent “Methods for producing recombinant Coronavirus”
https://geoffpain.substack.com/p/pfizer-used-synthetic-life-derived