Matt Hancock Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death
By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson
Matt Hancock told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes;
The masses, who, from their Earliest Youth,
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,
And would have done so, had not it
Discovered he was a little shit.
For once, towards the start of spring
COVID 19 became a thing.
Matt Hancock, as the Man of Health
Decided to take away the people’s wealth
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of Britain’s NHS Brigade.
He said to it ‘I tell you true
COVID 19’s not the ‘flu!’
Within an hour, or was it four,
Or even six or maybe more
the Gallant Band of docs and nurses
did their tic-toc dance rehearses,
and pouring in on every hand,
To every hospital in the land.
They did not think, ‘Hang on its queer,
What’s this about, all this fear?’
To those who were in doubt they’d frown
And said ‘The UK is Burning Down!’
Inspired by British Cheers and Loud
Proceeding from the Frenzied Crowd,
Who whooped, and clapped and banged their pots
(They’d lost their minds the stupid clots.)
The NHS it scrubbed and cleaned,
As from the health advice it gleaned
That COVID was a Deadly Bug
Which would become a great big thug
If it did not sterilise to death
All surfaces, the seats and your breath.
And six feet apart all must be
Or was it metres, 2 or 3?
And don’t forget the screens and masks
And all those other stupid tasks.
This went on throughout the summer,
And into winter, such a bummer
Easter cancelled, Christmas too
Jesus wept, that’s nothing new.
Then the vaccines came along
And people gladly sang the song
‘All hail our saviour, we are saved’
So to be shot was all they craved
The line went out throughout the land
‘Come join the favoured hallowed band.
All it takes to not be sick
Is to have a little prick!’ 1
And Mattie had a little cry
For those who had believed his lie.
They had the Pfizer, Moderna and A to Zed
‘I feel odd; oh look he’s dead!’
‘It’s just coincidence, don’t be vex
They’re only normal Side Effects!’
Then in twenty twenty one
Mattie thought he’d have some fun
He was caught with his advisor
(Please note she didn’t work for Pfizer)
Having an illicit kiss
With his naughty little miss.
The public roared ‘He broke the rules,
That Pratt Hancock has made us fools!’
Thus he resigned from control of health
Having made his pile of wealth
Allegedly from PPE
Via the taxpayers, that’s You and Me.
Then he made a serious bungle
By joining the celebs in the jungle
They tried to think of a little quip
But the Tories just Withdrew the Whip
Thus the man who turned his back
On old people got the sack.
For don’t forget this is the man
Who was responsible for the cunning plan
To lock the Care Homes fast and tight
So no one could see they were alright
And thus it may have been your Dad or Mam
Whose life was finished by Midazolam.
So now there’s a rumour going round
A fierce anger beneath the ground.
Call it a dream if you prefer
To eliminate a pestilent cur,
That the masses become the Worm that Turned
And Matt Hancock, and his House, were Burned.
Cartoon by Bob Moran
https://www.bobmoran.co.uk/shop-originals-2020
Footnote
1 It is rumoured that the little prick was Matt Hancock but this is fake news and there is nothing in it. The rumour that is.
With apologies or thanks to Hillaire Belloc who gave me the inspiration based on his poem. You can read it here.
http://holyjoe.org/poetry/belloc4.htm
P.S. I considered the cartoon of the Devil is very suitable but note that the Devil also ends up in the lake of fire.
Here are relevant links for any who haven’t seen.
Matt Hancock, Health Secretary and British politician
Clap for Our Carers and other clap-trap
A is for…. Anti-social distancing.
What a brilliant way of exposing THE SYNAGOGUE OF LIES!
Here is the short version I am able to stitch together
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!
I very much appreciated the original poem as well - Thank you from the bottom of my heart! (fortunately I can still feel it)
brilliant, big TQ